In Memory of my son, Allen Brian Gilson  1977-1994

This is the Eulogy from Allen's Memorial Service

Allen passed away on June 17, 1994 at the tender age of 16 years. He had touched the hearts of so many people and will be greatly missed by his parents, his brothers and sister, grandparents (both sides have since passed on as well), his aunts, uncles and many nieces and nephews and friends.

Allen, although having various handicaps, had a very enthusiastic attitude about life. His love for music and being rocked and sang to was a joy to all around him. His smile was a reward worth trying for. Allen attended a school for Special Children in the area and he had the staff wrapped around his little finger. Through all the tribulations and trials in his life he always had a real will to pull through and go on again. He was a real source of strength for his mom who lovingly cared for him at home since birth.

Sarah McCuaig, his teacher’s aide at the school wrote this tribute to Allen:

“Allen is gone. He came among us for a few years like a rare fragile bloom needing careful tending, and those of us whose lives touched his will remember his sweet smiles and his delight in the sounds of the world around him.

“Allen could not see the colors around which surrounded him but took great joy in music and sound. Bird song and Whale song, jingle bells and church bells, waves crashing on the shore, the wind sighing in the trees, bullfrogs by a pond, the squeak of a rocking chair, Mozart on the piano; Allen’s inner-eye perceived these colors.

“Allen’s smiles and Allen’s own songs are lost to us now on planet Earth, but the Allen we knew and loved now dances with angels among the stars, and he sees the wonders of the universe and raises his voice with the great heavenly choir.

“We miss him “Good night, sweet Prince.”

 

THE CHILD I CANNOT SEE
**********************

I miss the child I cannot see
And long for him to be with me.
There is no way to touch, it seems
Save only in my dreams.
But, within my heart, there is a place,
Where I can see his smiling face.

This child that has gone out of sight,
Still lives today in bright sunlight.
He walks among the trees, at break of day,
Through the grass, he makes his way.
Picking flowers as he walks,
And to his horse, he still talks.

Sometimes he rides high in the saddle,
Throwing ropes to lasso the cattle.
Sometimes he rides up the hills,
Through vast fields of daffodils.
Other times, he just walks along
Sometimes, whistling a happy song.

Within my heart, there is no time,
No clocks to tick, chirp or chime.
There are no hours, days or years
Deep within my heart, there are no tears.
For all is there as it had been
A young boy, gone, lives again!

This poem is dedicated to my son, Allen who passed away June 16, 1995

After our son Allen passed away my husband and I had a very hard to pursue one of our favorite things - for him to play the guitar and for us to sing our favorite songs. This was one of Allen's very favorite things as well. If he was in bed and still awake when we started you could him making his happy sounds so I would bring him out to the living room and he would sit there with a huge smile while we sang songs. For a long time we would start to play and sing but then we would just stop and the mood would leave us. Now I write songs and poems for Allen.

I WANT TO HEAR YOU SINGING
Written by Shirley Gilson June 5, 2000
Inspired by son Allen Gilson

chorus
Although I’m up in Heaven
I’m watching from afar
I want to hear you singing
And playing the guitar.

I want to hear my mommy’s voice
Singing my favorite song
And when my daddy joins her
I want to sing along.

So, please don’t stop the music
Just because I’m gone
I’m with you both in spirit
And I’d love to hear a song.

So, sing a pretty song for me
And make it loud and clear
Remember I’m in Heaven
But your music keeps me near.

Remember how I used to smile
When Dad picked up his guitar
And Mommy would start singing
Now I’m singing from a star.

Please don’t be sad because I’m gone
I’m with you everyday
Remember now to sing my song
And you will hear me say…
chorus

©Shirley Gilson

While my eyes can see no more,
My heart can hear your smile;
And it hears the angels whisper,
I am here but for a while.
Though my arms no longer reach,
They feel your touch of love;
Just like the gentle touch I feel,
Of the Father's arms above.
And while my journey here on earth,
May not have been too long;
When you begin to miss me most,
Just listen for my song.
It will be there in the whispering wind,
In the melody of a child;
But most of all deep in your heart...
Just listen for a while.
I will always be with you,
Just a memory away;
I'll wait for you in my Father's arms,
Till we are together one day.

author unknown to me

 

Thank God For This Child
 
This is a poem I wrote soon after Allen passed away
 
There is nothing like the smile of a child
To start your day,
To guide your way.
His tiny hand curls around your finger And makes you smile.
All the while
You sit and rock and thank God for this child.
You hold this child in your arms,
So soft and sweet,
Little hands and feet.
You wonder how it could come to be,
Sent from above
 For you to love.
You sit and rock and thank God for this child.
You watch him sleep so peacefully,
He gives a sigh.
You wonder why
He has to leave you and go to Heaven.
God’s chosen one,
Our precious son, Only lent to us for such a short while,
Thank God for this precious child.

©Shirley Gilson

Here are some photos of Allen showing what an adorable, happy boy he was
 

Midi playing : You Light Up My Life - One of Allen's favorite songs

After Allen was born, the doctors didn't hold much hope that he would live more than a few months in the condition he was in (Spina Bifida- Hydrocaephalus). My husband wrote this song for him figuring he would not be with us long. The eagle in the song being Allen's grandfather who passed away while I was expecting Allen.                           

I AM THE EAGLE
By Ron Gilson Oct.7, 1977

I am the eagle
The mightiest eagle
I’ve come to take you away.
Do not fear me
For I will not harm you
Nor will I lead you astray .

For you are a small lad
And the strength of a small lad
Cannot complete such a chore
So climb on my back
And I’ll soar like an eagle
And touch down on Heaven’s front door.

For I am an eagle
The mightiest eagle
I’ve come to take you away
Do not fear me
For I will not harm you
Nor will I lead you astray.

You’ll listen awhile
Then start to smile
When you hear that old guitar play
You’ll know you are safe
From all harm and all evil
When you hear your old granddaddy say.

For I am an eagle
The mightiest eagle
I’ve come to take you away
Do not fear me
For I will not harm you
Nor will I lead you astray
©Ron Gilson 1977

More original poetry coming soon...............

To Allen - A Letter From Mom                                                                                                                                      Allen Special Angel dedication

To Read My Other Son's Memorial Pages:
Remember Me - For My Dear Son
My Son, A True Hero - by Shirley Gilson - written to commemerate the first anniversary of her son's death.
My Guardian Angel Son -by Shirley Gilson - written to commemerate the 2nd anniversary of her son's death.

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Comments Received about this page:

The web page is absolutely inspiring and it must bring you comfort to know your story touches all those who "hit" the site. Y. St.D
Loved your new page - Hard to read about the loss of a child though - DH                                                                  I read your page on Allen, it did make me cry, you did a wonderful job on it and I still choke up thinking of it as I write you this note. JN                                                                                                                                              What a wonderful page mom,,,good job. Love, Sue